Gaslighting trauma and its long-term consequences on mental health

You might feel mixed up, sad, or not sure what is true. You are not the only one. Many people deal with gaslighting trauma. This happens when someone makes you doubt your own thoughts or memories. Recent studies say 25% of teen daters went through gaslighting last year. People who face this often have anxiety, depression, and feel less good about themselves. These problems can make it tough to trust yourself and others. Learning about these effects is important because it can help you feel hopeful and begin to heal.

Key Takeaways

• Gaslighting trauma makes you question your thoughts. It also makes you unsure about your memories. This can cause anxiety. It can also lead to depression.

• Noticing signs of gaslighting can help you get help. It can help you keep yourself safe from emotional abuse.

• Therapy and support groups are very important for healing. They help you build up your self-esteem. They help you learn to trust again.

• Taking care of yourself is important. Setting boundaries can make your mental health stronger. It can help stop people from controlling you in the future.

• Getting your power back means you challenge negative beliefs. You should celebrate small wins as you heal.

Gaslighting trauma explained

Definition

Gaslighting trauma is when someone tricks you to make you question what is real. You may start to wonder if your thoughts or memories are true. This trauma usually comes from someone hurting your feelings over and over. Mental health professionals look for special signs to tell gaslighting trauma from other types of abuse. You might notice you feel unsure about yourself, get confused, or doubt yourself a lot. These feelings can get much stronger as time goes on.

Gaslighting can make you feel lost and unsure about what is real. You might even think your feelings do not matter at all.

Tactics

People who use gaslighting want to control how you see yourself and the world. Psychologists have found some common ways they do this:

1. Reality Distortion: The person says your memory of events is wrong.

2. Memory Manipulation: They change facts or deny things, so you doubt your memory.

3. Emotional Invalidation: They tell you your feelings are not right or are too much.

4. Dependency Creation: They make you depend on their view of what is real.

5. Trivializing: They make your feelings seem small or silly.

6. Withholding: They act like they do not understand or will not listen.

7. Countering: They say your memory is not correct.

8. Denial or Forgetting: They pretend things never happened.

9. Diverting or Blocking: They change the topic or say you cannot be trusted.

These ways of gaslighting may start out small but can get worse and happen more often. After a while, you might always feel worried and unsure of yourself. You could even start to expect people to question you, which can change how you think about yourself.

Examples

Gaslighting trauma can happen in many places. Here are some examples from real life:

1. At work: A boss says they never gave you instructions, so you start to doubt your memory and skills.

2. In friendships: A friend tells you, "You’re overreacting," and you begin to question your feelings.

3. In families: A family member says things from your childhood did not happen, so you doubt your memories.

4. In romantic relationships: A partner keeps denying things they said or did, so you question what is real.

People who go through gaslighting often feel alone and stuck. Many have a hard time explaining what is happening. If others do not believe them, they might blame themselves or feel embarrassed. Listening to and believing people who have been through gaslighting can help them start to heal.

Mental health impact

Anxiety and depression

Gaslighting trauma can change how you feel every day. You may notice that you worry more or feel sad for long periods. These feelings do not just go away on their own. When someone makes you question your reality, your mind can start to feel tired and stressed. You might even feel scared for no clear reason.

Here are some common effects people experience after gaslighting trauma:

• You may feel anxious or afraid, even in safe places.

• Sadness can last for days or weeks.

• Your self-esteem might drop, making you feel less confident.

• Long-term trauma can make it hard to enjoy things you once liked.

Many people who go through gaslighting trauma find it hard to trust their own feelings. This can make daily life feel overwhelming.

The impact of gaslighting trauma on your mental health can be deep and long-lasting. The table below shows some ways this trauma can affect you:

PTSD and CPTSD

Gaslighting trauma does not just cause sadness or worry. It can also lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex PTSD (CPTSD). These are serious mental health problems that can change how you think and act.

You might notice:

• Anxiety that does not go away, even when nothing bad is happening.

• Feeling jumpy or always on alert, as if something bad could happen at any time.

• Emotional numbness, where you feel nothing at all.

• Trouble sleeping or having nightmares.

• Physical problems like being tired all the time or having stomach aches.

Your brain reacts to ongoing invalidation as if you are always in danger. This can make your body feel sick, not just your mind.

Gaslighting trauma can make you feel like you are always under threat. This is different from other types of trauma because the stress comes from someone making you doubt yourself over and over.

Self-doubt and self-esteem

Gaslighting trauma can make you question everything about yourself. You may start to think you cannot trust your own thoughts or feelings. This can hurt your self-esteem and make you feel small.

Some long-term effects include:

• You doubt your own memories, even when you know they are true.

• You blame yourself for things that are not your fault.

• You feel like you cannot trust yourself, which makes it hard to make decisions.

• If you have faced other traumas before, gaslighting can make these feelings even worse.

Survivors of gaslighting trauma often feel re-traumatized. This means old wounds open up again, making it even harder to heal.

You deserve to feel confident and trust yourself. Remember, these feelings are not your fault. Healing is possible, and you can rebuild your self-esteem over time.

Signs of gaslighting trauma

Emotional symptoms

After gaslighting trauma, your feelings can change a lot. You might feel far away from yourself or your surroundings. Sometimes you feel stuck or have no energy at all. You may feel shaky, like you cannot stand steady. Fear or worry can show up for no clear reason.

• Feeling far from yourself and your surroundings

• No energy or feeling stuck

• Feeling shaky or not steady

• Fear or worry that comes out of nowhere

You might start to wonder if your thoughts are right. Sadness, guilt, or fear can be with you every day. Many people feel alone and think less of themselves. You may not trust your feelings and have trouble believing your own instincts.

Behavioral changes

Gaslighting trauma can change how you act. You might doubt yourself all the time. You may say sorry a lot, even if you did nothing wrong. Feeling alone and not understood happens often. Being confused can make choices hard.

• Always doubting yourself

• Saying sorry too much

• Feeling alone and not understood

• Often confused

• Hard to trust yourself or others

• Low self-worth

• Trying to do things that are too hard

• Worrying people will question you

• Feeling unsure and weak

You might not trust your feelings about people close to you. This can make you feel nervous, mess up your sleep, and lower your confidence.

Relationship difficulties

Gaslighting trauma can make being with others tough. You might feel mixed up or get defensive when talking to people. Doubting yourself and your memories can happen a lot. Making choices might feel scary. You may feel like you must always prove yourself or cover for someone else.

• Feeling mixed up in relationships

• Getting defensive quickly

• Doubting your memories and what is real

• Hard time making choices

• Feeling you must prove yourself

• Covering for others

It can be hard to trust new people. You may feel careful or not open. This can make it tough to make friends and have good relationships.

Gaslighting dynamics

Why people gaslight

You might wonder why someone would gaslight others. People sometimes gaslight to feel strong or to hide their own problems. Many gaslighters want to control what you think and do. Some act this way because they feel unsure or scared of losing control. Others copy what they saw from family or people around them.

Here are some reasons people gaslight:

• They want to be in charge and control others.

• They are afraid of fights and losing control.

• They feel very unsure about themselves.

• They think they must be better than others to matter.

• They act like people they watched growing up.

• They want to keep their place in a group and not get left out.

• Some enjoy hurting others, especially if they have narcissistic traits.

• They want to control what happens in groups and get others to like them.

• They try to stop people from asking questions, so things stay the same.

Gaslighting often starts because someone wants to feel safe or important. After a while, it can turn into a habit that hurts everyone.

Power and control

Gaslighting is always about power and control. The gaslighter tries to make you doubt yourself so they can stay in charge. They might twist facts or say things did not happen. This makes you depend on what they say is true.

• One person tries to control and lead the other.

• The gaslighter changes the truth, so you question yourself.

• The gaslighter acts like the boss, so you look to them for answers.

You may feel mixed up and not sure what is real. This gives the gaslighter even more power. They use this to stop you from standing up to them or leaving.

If someone always wants to control your thoughts or feelings, you might be facing gaslighting. Noticing these signs can help you stay safe and get help.

Healing from gaslighting trauma

Coping strategies

You can start to heal from gaslighting trauma by using simple coping strategies. Mental health experts suggest steps that help you feel stronger and safer:

1. Find a therapist who knows about trauma. Therapy gives you a safe place to talk and learn new skills.

2. Try therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). These can help you handle your feelings and build self-esteem.

3. Practice mindfulness. Breathing exercises or meditation help you stay calm and focused.

4. Build a support network. Trusted friends, family, or support groups can give you encouragement and support.

5. Set clear boundaries. Learning to say "no" helps protect you from being manipulated again.

6. Make self-care routines. Activities like exercise, journaling, or art help you feel better and support your well-being.

Therapy helps you challenge wrong thoughts and build healthier ways of thinking. Each step you take helps you feel safer and more confident.

Seeking help

Knowing when you need help is important. You might feel stuck, sad, or anxious most days. If you have trouble trusting yourself or others, think about asking for support. A trauma therapist who understands gaslighting trauma can help you recover.

• Admit the emotional abuse and how it affects you.

• Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy.

• Connect with people who understand what you went through.

• Challenge negative thoughts and try to think kinder ones.

• Therapy gives you a safe place to talk about your feelings and learn coping skills.

CBT is one therapy that helps you see what is real and build self-esteem. You do not have to go through this alone. Asking for help shows you are brave and aware of yourself.

Reclaiming power

Reclaiming your power means learning to trust yourself again. You can start by questioning negative thoughts. Ask yourself if your beliefs are true or if someone else made you think them. Replace harsh judgments with kinder and fair thoughts.

• Write down your experiences to see patterns of gaslighting.

• Write about important moments from your view to take back your story.

• Use emotion-based and body-based techniques to reconnect with your feelings.

• Expect setbacks, but celebrate small wins.

• Stay close to people who believe in you and your reality.

Every time you trust your gut, you show your worth and take back your power. Healing from gaslighting trauma takes time, but each step helps you trust yourself and others again.

Gaslighting trauma can hurt your mind and relationships in many ways. The table below lists some long-term effects:

You can heal from gaslighting trauma. Therapy and special care help you trust yourself again.

• Learn to spot signs of gaslighting.

• Get help from people who care and understand.

• Be kind to others who may have a hard time.

When people know more and act kindly, everyone feels safer and understood.

FAQ

What are some early signs of gaslighting?

You may notice you doubt your memory or feel confused after talking with someone. You might apologize often or feel like you cannot trust your own feelings. These signs can mean someone is trying to control how you see things.

Can gaslighting trauma affect your physical health?

Yes, gaslighting trauma can cause headaches, stomach aches, or trouble sleeping. Your body reacts to stress and worry. You may feel tired or tense most days. If these symptoms last, you should talk to a doctor or therapist.

How can you support someone who has experienced gaslighting?

Listen without judging. Believe their story. Offer comfort and remind them their feelings matter. Encourage them to seek help from a therapist or support group. Your support can help them feel less alone.

Is it possible to fully recover from gaslighting trauma?

You can heal and rebuild trust in yourself. Recovery takes time and support. Therapy, self-care, and strong boundaries help you feel safe again. Many people regain confidence and learn to trust their own thoughts.