Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: Understanding Your Trauma Response

When danger strikes, your body doesn't ask permission—it reacts. In a fraction of a second, before your conscious mind can process what's happening, your nervous system has already chosen a survival strategy. For many survivors of narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma, these automatic responses can feel confusing, shameful, or even broken.

But here's the truth: your fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response isn't a character flaw. It's your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do—keep you alive. Understanding which trauma response you default to is the first step toward healing and reclaiming control over your reactions.

Psychotherapist Pete Walker, author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, was the first to identify the "fawn" response and integrate it into what he calls the 4F trauma responses. His groundbreaking work has helped millions of survivors understand why they react the way they do—and how to heal.

What Are the Four Trauma Responses?

The fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses are your nervous system's automatic survival mechanisms. When your brain perceives danger—whether a physical threat or an emotional one—it activates one of these protective responses without conscious thought.

According to research, Complex PTSD affects approximately 6.2% of the global population, with rates climbing to 40% among survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse. If you're reading this, you're not alone in experiencing these overwhelming reactions.

Here's a brief overview of each response:

The Neuroscience Behind Trauma Responses

Your trauma response isn't a choice—it's biology. The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, your body's central stress response system, activates the moment your brain senses danger.

Here's what happens in your body:

1. Your amygdala detects threat — This almond-shaped brain structure can trigger a stress response in just 12-25 milliseconds, before your conscious mind even registers danger
2. Stress hormones flood your system — Cortisol and adrenaline prepare your body for survival action
3. Your prefrontal cortex goes offline — The thinking, reasoning part of your brain takes a backseat to pure survival instinct

Dr. Stephen Porges, creator of Polyvagal Theory, explains it this way: "The nervous system doesn't make decisions by thinking; it makes decisions through neuroception—detecting safety or danger below conscious awareness."

This is why you can't simply "think your way out" of a trauma response. Your body has learned, through repeated experience, which survival strategy works best—and it will default to that response automatically.

The Fight Response: When Anger Becomes Armor

The fight response is exactly what it sounds like: meeting threat with confrontation. People with a dominant fight response use anger, aggression, and control as their primary defense mechanism.

Signs You Have a Fight Response

• You become aggressive or confrontational when feeling threatened
• You have difficulty backing down from conflicts, even minor ones
• You feel the need to control situations and people
• Your first instinct is to attack (verbally or physically) when stressed
• You may have been labeled as having "anger issues" or being "too intense"
• You struggle to show vulnerability

How the Fight Response Develops

The fight response typically develops in environments where fighting back worked—or at least felt safer than the alternatives. Children who could stand up to bullies, argue back with abusive parents without severe punishment, or who learned that aggression got them what they needed often develop fight as their default response.

In some cases, the fight response can manifest as narcissistic behaviors—a defensive armor created to protect a deeply wounded self. This doesn't excuse harmful behavior, but it helps explain its origins.

The Flight Response: Running from Pain

If fight is about confronting danger, flight is about escaping it. People with a dominant flight response deal with threat by running—whether literally or figuratively.

Signs You Have a Flight Response

• You're a workaholic or perfectionist who can't stop "doing"
• You feel restless and anxious when forced to slow down
• You avoid difficult conversations and emotions
• You might overexercise, overstudy, or overwork
• You have racing thoughts and difficulty relaxing
• You're constantly planning your "escape route" in situations

How the Flight Response Develops

The flight response often develops when escaping was the safest survival strategy. Children who could run to their room, distract themselves with activities, or simply stay away from home developed flight as their go-to response.

As adults, flight types often become high achievers—channeling their anxiety into productivity. But underneath the accomplishments lies a nervous system that never feels safe enough to stop running.

The Freeze Response: When You Can't Move

The freeze response occurs when your nervous system decides that fighting or fleeing won't work—so it shuts down instead. This is the "deer in headlights" response, and it can be deeply disorienting for those who experience it.

Signs You Have a Freeze Response

• You dissociate or "zone out" when stressed
• You feel numb, disconnected, or like you're watching yourself from outside your body
• You experience brain fog and difficulty making decisions
• You isolate yourself and withdraw from life
• You might sleep excessively or feel chronically fatigued
• You feel stuck and unable to take action

How the Freeze Response Develops

Freeze typically develops when neither fight nor flight was possible. Children in inescapable situations—where they couldn't fight back and couldn't run away—learned that the safest option was to become very still and very quiet. Some researchers call this "learned helplessness."

The freeze response can feel particularly shameful for survivors who wonder why they "didn't do anything" during abuse. But freeze is not a choice—it's your nervous system protecting you the only way it could.

The Fawn Response: People-Pleasing as Survival

The fawn response, first identified by Pete Walker, involves immediately moving to please a threatening person in order to avoid conflict. Fawning is about becoming whatever the other person needs you to be—at the cost of your own identity.

Signs You Have a Fawn Response

• You're a chronic people-pleaser who can't say "no"
• You lose yourself in relationships, adopting the other person's preferences and opinions
• You have difficulty identifying your own needs and wants
• You feel responsible for other people's emotions
• You attract and are attracted to narcissists and controlling personalities
• You feel guilty when you prioritize yourself

As Shahida Arabi writes in Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists: "In her repeated search for a rescuer, she instead finds those who chronically diminish her just like her earliest abusers. Of course, her resilience, adept skill set in adapting to chaotic environments and ability to 'bounce back' was also birthed in early childhood."

How the Fawn Response Develops

Pete Walker explains that "the fawn response involves immediately moving to try to please a person to avoid any conflict... This response becomes the default pattern when fight, flight, or freeze responses would lead to more danger."

Children of narcissistic or emotionally abusive parents often develop the fawn response. When expressing anger would result in punishment, when running away wasn't possible, and when freezing didn't stop the abuse—the only option left was to become whatever the abuser wanted.

This creates adults who are deeply attuned to others' needs but completely disconnected from their own. The fawn response is strongly connected to trauma bonding—the powerful attachment that forms between abuse victims and their abusers.

Identifying Your Dominant Trauma Response

Most people have a primary and secondary trauma response. Some may even cycle through multiple responses depending on the situation. Here's a self-assessment to help you identify your patterns:

Fight Response Quiz:

• Do you get angry quickly when you feel threatened or disrespected?
• Do others describe you as intimidating or aggressive?
• Do you need to be "right" or have the last word?

Flight Response Quiz:

• Do you stay busy to avoid feeling emotions?
• Do you feel panicky when forced to slow down?
• Do you avoid conflicts by leaving the situation?

Freeze Response Quiz:

• Do you zone out or dissociate when stressed?
• Do you feel paralyzed when you need to take action?
• Do you feel numb or disconnected from your body?

Fawn Response Quiz:

• Do you prioritize others' needs over your own?
• Do you struggle to identify what you actually want?
• Do you change yourself to match what others want from you?

Hybrid Responses:

Many survivors experience hybrid responses. Common combinations include:

• Fight-Fawn: Oscillating between aggression and people-pleasing
• Freeze-Fawn: Dissociating while trying to appease others
• Flight-Freeze: Running until exhaustion, then shutting down

Healing Your Trauma Response

Understanding your trauma response is the first step. The next is learning to regulate your nervous system so you're no longer at the mercy of automatic reactions.

Nervous System Regulation Techniques

Grounding Exercises: When triggered, bring yourself back to the present moment using the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.

Breathwork: The 4-7-8 breathing technique activates your parasympathetic nervous system: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale for 8. This signals safety to your body.

Somatic Practices: Your body stores trauma. Practices like yoga, tai chi, and gentle movement can help release stored tension and teach your nervous system that it's safe to relax.

Professional Support Options

While self-help is valuable, professional support often accelerates healing:

• Trauma-Informed Therapy: Look for therapists trained in trauma modalities
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helps process traumatic memories
• Somatic Experiencing: Works with the body to release trapped trauma
• Internal Family Systems (IFS): Addresses the different "parts" of yourself created by trauma

As Shahida Arabi advises: "Before she can break the cycle, she must first give herself the space and time to recover. A break from establishing new relationships is often essential during this time; No Contact (or Low Contact from her abusers in more complicated situations such as co-parenting) is also vital to the healing journey."

Frequently Asked Questions

What is fight flight freeze fawn?

Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are the four primary trauma responses—automatic survival mechanisms activated by your nervous system when it perceives threat. Fight involves confrontation, flight involves escape, freeze involves immobility, and fawn involves people-pleasing to appease the threat. These responses develop from childhood experiences and become automatic patterns in adulthood.

What is the fawn trauma response?

The fawn response, first identified by psychotherapist Pete Walker, is a survival mechanism where you immediately try to please or appease a threatening person to avoid conflict. It develops when fight, flight, and freeze responses would lead to more danger—particularly common in children of narcissistic or abusive parents. Signs include chronic people-pleasing, difficulty saying no, and losing yourself in relationships.

Can you have more than one trauma response?

Yes, most people have a primary and secondary trauma response. Some people experience hybrid responses, cycling between different patterns depending on the situation. For example, someone might default to fawning in relationships but freeze in professional settings. Responses can also shift over time as you heal or as circumstances change.

How do I know which trauma response I have?

Pay attention to your automatic reactions when you feel threatened, stressed, or triggered. Do you become angry and confrontational (fight)? Do you want to escape or stay busy (flight)? Do you feel numb, stuck, or disconnected (freeze)? Or do you focus on pleasing others and avoiding conflict (fawn)? A trauma-informed therapist can also help you identify your patterns.

Can trauma responses be healed?

Yes, trauma responses can absolutely be healed. While you may always have these survival mechanisms available to you, healing allows you to regulate your nervous system so you're not constantly triggered into automatic reactions. Through therapy, somatic practices, and nervous system regulation techniques, you can develop the ability to choose your response rather than react automatically.

Your Survival Response Kept You Alive—Now It's Time to Thrive

Whatever trauma response you identify with, please know this: your nervous system was trying to protect you. These responses developed because, at some point in your life, they were necessary for survival. There's no shame in how your body learned to cope with impossible circumstances.

But survival mode isn't meant to be permanent. Now that you understand your patterns, you can begin the work of teaching your nervous system that it's safe to come out of crisis mode.

Healing is possible. Your body can learn new responses. With the right support—whether therapy, somatic work, or nervous system regulation practices—you can move from surviving to thriving.

If you recognize yourself in this article, please consider reaching out to a trauma-informed therapist. You don't have to navigate this journey alone. And if you're currently in an abusive relationship, know that learning to set boundaries is an essential step in protecting yourself and beginning your healing journey.

Remember: Your trauma response kept you alive. Honor it—and then give yourself permission to grow beyond it.